Eating Disorders Support Group

Women, Food & God... and Binge Eating Disorder

2011-02-12T08:42:00.003-07:00

Recovery from Binge Eating Disorder is a winding and challenging road. On the one hand, the bingeing behavior has to be managed by techniques, tools, and prevention strategies. On the other hand, the issues beneath the behavior have to be discovered and worked through for true healing to take place.

This week at group, we read a few excerpts from Geneen Roth’s “Women, Food and God.” First, she explains the need to sit with yourself and whatever emotion is going on beneath the urge to “bolt” by coping with food. This can be incredibly challenging if we’ve learned that “bolting” with food is the quickest solution to the alleviation of whatever it is we don’t want to face. Secondly, she explains that self-acceptance and respect right now today, just as we are, is imperative for recovery. The answer we think we are looking for is not losing 30 pounds 100 times over 80 years of our life! The answer is not external in a size or a number; it is within us. Once we can accept who we are (and acceptance does not mean you are choosing to stay the way you are forever), we naturally begin to love our bodies differently. Our worldview changes as we are no longer slaves to the scale or the attainment of a “perfect” body image, but rather we can open our eyes to see life in a different, freer light, and begin to live out of the person we truly are (which doesn’t include disordered eating).

Today, I hope you can begin to delve a little deeper into what’s going on beneath the urge to binge. Entertain the possibility that you are of immense worth simply for who you are. As you continue on your journey, look inward instead of “out there” for the answer, and unveil the beauty that is uniquely your own.

Written by Kathryn Hamrick, Counseling Intern at Positive Pathways

Strategies To Overcome Binge Eating Disorder

2011-02-04T09:07:00.001-07:00

This new Binge Eating Disorder Support Group has been a very powerful source of encouragement for those who’ve attended recently. Many group members have found relief just knowing there are other people who really get their struggle with binge eating. It’s been a safe place for members to come and share their weekly successes and challenges, and receive support from the rest of the group to keep on walking forward on their journey towards recovery.

This week, the challenges that arose concerned the "mind battle," which all group members could relate to as very frustrating. For example, when we’re not truly hungry, but we are internally struggling in our mind because we want to eat anyways. In relation to this, members also discussed the need to ask the “right” questions about eating behavior, like “what is really going on when I have the urge to binge?” and identifying the emotions underneath the behavior. Especially if we’ve struggled with binge eating for a long time, it can be difficult to replace the “quick fix” (coping with food) with something that is more helpful and nurturing for ourselves. But members seem to be doing that by reaching out to others for help, journaling, being completely honest with themselves and others, and setting plans in place to make it easier to make choices that will propel them forward on their path towards recovery.

Some of the successes included more mindful eating, picking ourselves up after we’ve had a slip up, not allowing shameful/guilty feelings overtake us, and discovering alternative ways to reward ourselves that are non-food related. Next week, a member plans on bringing the topic: “so how do we stop in the middle of, or once we’ve already started bingeing?” when the tendency is to think “well you’ve already blown it and might as well go all the way!” The group will discuss ideas about how to stop and be present, challenge that black and white thinking, and turn away from the behavior in the moment.

I’m very impressed with the courage this group has shown in seeking support from others who understand this struggle, and working towards their own recovery. I hope you can join us in Denver at a meeting, Wednesdays from 7-8:30pm, or get support by reading this blog! If you'd like more information about this group, please call me at 864.430.6369 or email me at kathryn4825@aol.com

Written by Kathryn Hamrick, Counseling Intern at Positive Pathways

NEW! Binge Eating Disorder Support Group

2011-01-05T08:51:00.002-07:00

A new support group specifically for people in recovery from Binge Eating Disorder has begun at the Positive Pathways office in Denver, Colorado. The facilitator is Kathryn Hamrick, a Master's level Counseling student at the Denver Seminary, and a Counseling Intern at Positive Pathways. This group is gratefully sponsored by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD). The group meets Wednesdays, from 7:00 - 8:30pm -- the cost is free, although donations for ANAD are gratefully accepted. For more information, contact Kathryn at 864.430.6369 or kathryn4825@aol.com

Change As A Part Of Recovery... And Life!

2010-12-12T18:32:00.001-07:00

After volunteering for nearly 3 years for the Eating Disorder Foundation's weekly support group, I am "passing the baton" to new leaders. It was very hard to "say goodbye" last week, but I am making this choice so that I can devote more focus to my clients, supervising my interns, and writing my next book!

Two of our other volunteers – Tricia Cassady and Stefani Adair – are also moving on to new and exciting opportunities. I am very grateful for all they have given to the members of the EDF group.

Kate Broyles Daigle, who has been volunteering this past year, will continue to co-facilitate a few times each month, and new volunteers will also be participating. It has been a privilege to witness the growth in all of the members who have attended this group over the years. I hope that my message of "complete recovery" lives on inside you all.

I will be continuing this blog with posts for ongoing support about eating disorder recovery, so you are welcome to follow, this blog! Or, send me a personal email to keep in touch, at DrDorie@PositivePathways.com

P.S – There is a new support group for BINGE EATING DISORDER starting soon at the Positive Pathways office in Denver. The group is being led by Kathryn Hamrick, Couneling Intern, who has also overcome binge eating and other eating disorders. She welcomes you to contact her for more info at Kathryn4825@aol.com

The Process Of Change During Recovery

2010-12-11T18:33:00.003-07:00

Another rather full house on Tuesday night. Again, I left amazed, having witnessed such a level of authenticity and support. The kind of safety and encouragement that thrives in that room continues to leave me humbled and deeply touched. There are a lot of support groups out there that just don’t look like this one; your group is special, indeed.

A couple members spoke of the “in-between” of recovery—that place where you’re not so afflicted by behaviors but also aware that you’ve been here before, and the behaviors returned. It can feel unsettling, that space in the gray, not quite sure when the anvil will fall again. You wonder, “Is this it? Am I done, or is this just a momentary reprieve? A temporary vacation from the eating disorder?” Group members congratulated one another, though, for the success of any length of time without behaviors. What are some ways you can maintain that attitude of celebration—commemorate it? Whether it’s 1, 5, or 75 days, be encouraged that every step is a victory. Some members are walking through some pretty significant transitions during this season; others are facing very deep and challenging (and unpleasant) things in therapy. What was echoed back to these folks, though, is their exuding a calmer presence. Perhaps it has something to do with being faced with such significant challenges and facing your fears, head-on, that brings strength. It calls out from you a strength you may not have known you had. As you begin to walk it out, though—really take steps through those hard places—my hope is that you begin to see for yourself the courage and strength you really possess. And that it continues to infiltrate other areas of your life, giving you that much more determination to walk away from the ED. Another member talked about honesty and the challenge it can be to really exercise that while struggling with an ED. My guess is that all of us can relate to the deceitfulness that just seems to naturally accompany an ED. When we’re in it, self-preservation kicks in, and we’ll do just about anything to protect it. Recovery, though, calls us out into the light—out of the shadows and into speaking the truth. It forces us to get real and get honest. This member has committed herself to honesty in recovery. Groups like this one help foster that kind commitment. Coming together, speaking our struggles in the light and in the company of others, is powerful. Whether you know it or not, you are calling your recovery into existence, just by acknowledging it, verbally. Finally, another group member shared her sadness and frustration with “doing all the right things,” yet not seeing results. She is fighting for recovery, doing the hard work of therapy and group meetings and so on, yet not really seeing the payoff. Many in the group responded by reminding her of all the ways her success in recovery has inspired them to keep going. Recovery can be very slow-going, and it can be next to impossible to see our own progress sometimes. When we feel stuck, we need others to remind us of where we came from, where we’ve been. And, all too often, we have no idea how our own stories are impacting and changing the lives of others.

I would like to leave this entry with that idea. I’ve had the privilege of helping with this group for the past 18 weeks, and I am sad to say that this next week will be my last. As I’ve expressed before, it has been an honor to co-facilitate in a group of so many gifted individuals. You all have such wisdom for one another and such courage to continue to show up, week after week, fighting for freedom from the ED. I am challenged, inspired, and moved every time. I have been profoundly affected and for the better. Thank you, Dr. Dorie, for taking a chance with me. Thank you, Kate and Tricia, for your leadership and teaching. And thank you, group, for allowing me to witness your journey. It’s something I don’t take lightly. I will carry it with me in my heart and miss this group. May you continue to fight, continue to lift one another up along the way, and experience the joys of life on the other side.

Peace and recovery to each one of you, Stefani

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Should's And Shouldn'ts Of ED Recovery

2010-12-05T09:20:00.002-07:00

We had another big group this week. I am encouraged to see so many of you continuing to make time and space for recovery, even during what tends to be the busiest season of the year. And, for those who may not be able to attend, I hope you find connection and support from these posts. A number of things showed up Tuesday night. The phrase, “I’m not sick enough for treatment,” has come up more than once in the past couple of weeks. Most, if not all, struggling with an eating disorder are familiar with that one. We talked in group about some of the lies of the ED—how high the bar is set and unaccommodating are its commands. The truth? The truth is that it never stops because the ED is never satisfied. Whether you’ve struggled a month or a decade, the demands are the same; they’re impossible to reach. The ED speaks a language of comparison, and health is of no interest to it. Remember that the ED wants nothing more than to take you out of life, and its tactics are sneaky and manipulative. Listen, though, to that voice of health deep inside you. If you can’t quite hear it, open yourself up to the wisdom from your therapist, dietician, and trusted others in your life who know you best. The ED won’t like it, but that’s okay! It’s about you taking steps toward health and wholeness.

The word should comes up quite a bit in this group. I should feel this way. I shouldn’t feel that way. I shouldn’t be sad. I should be doing more. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t ‘should’ on yourself?” An ED is full of shoulds and rules and demands. It is inexhaustible with its lists of to-do’s and requirements, and rest seems to have no place. Some in our Tuesday night group have recently experienced some pretty devastating losses. Natural reactions range anywhere from sadness to fear to anger to anxiety, but the ED tells you not to feel those things. In fact, it acts to numb those feelings. I echo the words of several in the group, who maintained that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. To have compassion for yourself during the chaos and confusion. To scream and cry if you need to. To rest. To need some alone-time (or some other-time). Or even to accept the fact that you may not know what you’re feeling. Regardless, though, to be where you are and to honor that. You may find that this acceptance will begin to show up elsewhere—in your voice and in your requests of others. In the words, “I need help,” or “I can’t do it alone.” My challenge for you is to ask for what you need during this time. None of us were created to go it alone; we need people around us to help carry some of the load. May you find yourself daring to speak a little louder, and to know that you don’t have to shoulder it all. May you know that your voice and feelings are valid.

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Eating Disorder Recovery During The Holidays

2010-11-28T08:26:00.001-07:00

Greetings to all of you and Happy Thanksgiving! In the spirit of thankfulness, let me share again how thankful I am for this group…for each of you who continue to show up in recovery from this thing called ED…for the courage and wisdom and inspiration you bring to the table each and every week. You inspire me in more ways than you know, and it is truly an honor to sit among you and share a little in the journey.

Speaking of Thanksgiving and the Holidays, in general, it can be a challenging time of year, can it not? How encouraging it was, though, to see 12 of you show up at group on Tuesday night, encouraging and supporting one another through recovery—even during a time of year that may not feel all that conducive to recovering. The stress of the Holidays can be enough to send any one of us back to coping mechanisms that make us feel a little more comfortable, a little more safe. Several members shared, though, about a new sense of balance they are experiencing lately with food. While this whole concept can be entirely lost during this time of year, one relayed that she was being intentional around the Thanksgiving meal by reminding herself that it is only one day, that she doesn’t “have” to binge, but also that she doesn’t need to spend all her downtime on the treadmill while her family is enjoying one another elsewhere. We talked some about approaching this particular meal (and others during this time of year) without fear, and members shared different tactics that have worked for them in the past. One shared a tip she has learned from her dietician—envisioning your plate ahead of time and actually drawing out what it will look like (i.e., foods, portion sizes, etc.). Then, once you get to the meal, there is no longer so much of that unknown to fear because you have already planned your mode of attack ahead of time! (This particular group member, in fact, has been experiencing quite a lot of success with trying new, scary foods lately; she is learning to enjoy different foods and situations, even when she is in less of a position to control those things.) Another member shared about a recent trip she took and the kind of freedom she experienced, learning more about “normal” and intuitive eating and the new sense of peace and enjoyment this brought to her vacation. “That’s why I’ve chosen to do recovery! To have that kind of freedom!” one group member commented.

Just a reminder that we will continue to meet throughout the Holidays and that this group is a great place to practice “putting your recovery first.” Also, utilize the phone list and your fellow group members’ contact info throughout the week; it’s a great way to stay connected and get support during what can be a very challenging time of year. May each of you experience a little more freedom than fear during these holidays, a little more hope than despair…more peace than unrest.

Because you’re worth it!!!

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Connection and Control In Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-11-20T12:21:00.001-07:00

We had a big turn-out at group on Tuesday evening, several regular attendees and some new faces, as well. We spoke a little about how stepping into a group like this for the first time can be scary. Sharing such vulnerable parts of yourselves with strangers, perhaps not knowing how you’ll be received, not even quite sure you’re ready to say—out loud—you may be struggling with an eating disorder. Yet again, though, the group process reminds us that we are not alone. There is no need to stay isolated or hidden in the shadows. As members shared their stories, I heard over and over, “Everyone in this room has felt what you’re feeling,” or “Everything you just said has been said in this room.” When you begin to hear your story, spoken out of the mouths of others, connection and healing are taking place. The ED would like nothing better than to keep you in hiding or as one member put it, “in the dark places.” But as you begin to come forward into the light and speak—in the company of other witnesses—the ED begins to lose some of its power. Whether you feel it or not, you have chosen to take a step towards health. And all of us, I’m convinced, need reminding at one time or another that we are okay. That we’re valuable and significant and seen. That we have a place and purpose in the world. As one member shared her current challenges, another reflected back to her, “I only wish you could see what I see. I wish you could see how amazing you are.”

We talked about that ongoing battle of always trying to “fix” those things in our lives that are broken or just aren’t perfect. Body, appearance, job, salary, home…the list goes on and on. One member shared that she once was convinced that if only she could fix all of these things, life would be good and she could be happy. What she is learning, though, is that the foundation of it all is in truly loving herself. When that self-acceptance piece is there, somehow acceptance for all the rest seems manageable. “Life is a chessboard,” she expressed. “No matter how I try to manipulate the pieces, the chessboard will still be there.” My guess is that any of us who have struggled with an ED—and perhaps the entire human race, if we’re all being honest—can relate to this tendency to focus on the external when the internal doesn’t feel okay. Looking to find order and control in those things on the outside when what is on the inside is not so neat and clean. This idea of control, though, is elusive. We can’t always see how it’s roping us in like quicksand. How we take a step and “fix” one thing, but another is always around the next corner. The more fixing we do, the more we seem to get swallowed and consumed by the need to do so. These disapproving voices sound not so vaguely reminiscent of the ED voice—the voice that won’t ever seem to let you rest because there are always five more pounds to lose, extra miles to run, more rules to follow…I wonder what the external around us might look like if we really stopped all this efforting. Would it really all fall apart? Or, might we find a little more peace than we knew was possible?

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Sharing the Success of Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-11-14T11:21:00.001-07:00

We had 4 members in attendance Tuesday night. To those who could not be there, your presence is missed. And, just a reminder to utilize the phone list with your fellow group members’ numbers. We are here to support one another, but it may take you reaching out—first—and calling that person.

Everyone shared some very real challenges, yes, but I must say that what struck me the most on Tuesday night were all of the successes. Let those not be minimized! Members talked about really feeling their feelings—for perhaps the first time in their lives—and not resorting to behaviors as a way to cope. –The awareness that whatever feeling it may be—whether sad or anxious or depressed—is truly temporary and will pass. One member relayed that there are a number of challenges ensuing in her life right now, but she is continuing to use her voice in the hard places and setting her intentions around this winter season—that it will be unlike any other…a season of health. We talked some more about that need to advocate for ourselves in places where it may be uncomfortable—with employers, family members, or even in putting boundaries around our time. It’s an ongoing process, this staying on the offensive about recovery. The default may be to slide back into ED-related thoughts and behaviors, and it takes a lot of awareness and proactivity to keep health first. May you continue to remember that your recovery and well-being are worth more—that those things deserve not to be sabotaged, whether by a disapproving other in your life or a disempowering environment. Many, too, said they have been behavior-free for a good length of time, and this is something to be celebrated! May you find time to pause this week and reflect—relish—in the successes you have been experiencing. Whether you’re celebrating 5 minutes or 5 months, really acknowledge the enormity of that accomplishment.

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Climbing the Mountain of Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-11-07T12:29:00.001-07:00

At group on Tuesday night, I heard several echo feelings of being overwhelmed, looking at the mountain before them of to-do’s and seemingly impossible situations. The weight of that mountain is really too much sometimes, and it may make the “simplicity” of the eating disorder sound all the more alluring. Trying to navigate the rocky terrain of schoolwork, finances, body image, relationships, difficult family conversations, or feeling like the ED is just too big a hurdle…Too much at once can really send us to a place of hopelessness and despair. So, what do we do in those moments?

One member shared her method of making life more manageable—do the next right thing. Whether your next right thing is getting through the next hour or the next five minutes, what is that baby step that needs to be taken? Some other very practical suggestions were shared by group members—Finding a sponsor through OA (Overeaters Anonymous, technically, but an AA-type support base that encompasses all eating disorders—anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder, EDNOS, etc.). –Also, perhaps changing up the format of regularly scheduled therapy sessions (i.e., instead of all weekly, hour-long meetings, requesting one week’s meeting be divided up into five 10-minute phone check-ins with your therapist). What does your next right thing look like?

We talked, also, about getting to know ourselves outside of the ED. That can encompass so many things…Finding your voice, advocating for yourself in tough situations, exploring new hobbies and interests. The ED is so all-consuming that it monopolizes our time and becomes our voice when we let it. Our true passions and interests take a backseat when the ED is driving. Beyond it, though, is a whole other world. Members talked about experimenting with new hobbies, new ways of being, new ways of relating to others, new ways of relating to themselves. Where in your life is the ED doing the talking? Is there space in your world you would like to reclaim?

As the group shared and encouraged one another, I was struck with something else…Picturing that mountain, knowing that every single one of us has been there in that hopeless place…It can feel very isolating. When you’re doing the day-to-day and struggling to put one step in front of the other—support group not in sight and therapist separated by distance and voicemail—you may feel very alone. The temptation may be to feel like you’re the only one—that no one feels what you are feeling right now. This is when we need to be reminded how much we need one another. We all long for community and need that listening ear or shoulder to cry on. In the pit, we need to be reminded of our other group members standing at the top, looking over the ledge and pulling for us. Or, maybe we look over our shoulder and realize there are others, right alongside us. Watching the cycle of encouragement play out in this group is pretty astounding, really. One member who, not all that long ago, was feeling rather hopeless herself, benefited from her fellow members’ insight and encouragement to hang on. Now, she is finding herself in a stronger place and offering hope and words of wisdom to another member. When we find ourselves losing hope, again we remember that there are others who are willing to hang onto that hope for us. We may need to lend it out temporarily; we may need to let others believe it for us…But it has a way, somehow, of coming back around.

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

How Rest Helps Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-10-30T20:22:00.001-06:00

We had another full house on Tuesday night, and yet again, I am astounded by the wisdom and encouragement that emanate from this group, week to week.

I heard quite a bit around the conversation of being versus doing, that old animal that seems to be such an ongoing challenge for so many of us. Sadly, living in this world just perpetuates that. Our microwave culture of productivity and bottom lines and time-is-money is so pervasive that escaping it is next to impossible. Most of us are over-committed and tend to find ourselves stretched a little too thin. What I heard on Tuesday, though, seemed to resonate of a counter-attack on that very philosophy. It sounds as if several group members are beginning to listen more to their quiet intuition—an inner knowing that whispers ever so faintly, “Rest is okay!” It can be foreign territory, though, because that mindset is so counterintuitive to the eating disorder. The ED, after all, is about doing and running and striving, and it never seems to be satisfied with “enough.” It’s the drill sergeant in our minds that is always yelling to do more, run farther, be better. It’s not very kind, and it certainly doesn’t reward you for contentment.

But rest…Rest is health. Listening to that quiet voice within you that says it’s okay to be. To sit. To enjoy the moment…and then some. And then some more. And, there are a lot of perks that come with the “being”—allowing yourself to own and enjoy a good mood; not taking on others’ negativism as your responsibility; having dessert for its mere pleasure, and with no agenda to “make up for it later.”

We talked some, too, about environment on Tuesday. How places we once knew can trigger old behaviors and coping mechanisms—ED-related and otherwise. The fear around returning, maybe, to where we grew up or an old workplace. Even if, in fact, a lot of success and recovery has ensued since that time in our lives, our bodies hold those memories of familiar places, people, sights and ways of experiencing them. We can be triggered out of nowhere, simply because our senses are reminded of what they used to know. What are some ways, though, we can create and build structure in an old environment and not give in to old habits or ways of relating to it? How can we reformulate these “old normals” and turn them into “new normals?” Some great insight was shared around the table in answer to this question.

Listening to your body is one way of responding. The body is a pretty insightful tool; it clues us in to those “danger” signals and, if we’re listening, it can give us clues and reminders. When we become aware of those cautionary reminders, we are that much more on the alert to remain vigilant. Another defense is to create “new rituals” in that old environment. For instance, maybe your old mode of operation was to arrive at work, head straight to the coffee pot and round the bend towards your cubicle and the barrage of emails which inevitably await in your inbox. Perhaps, though, you might establish a new way of doing things—creating a quiet refuge in your office near a window with plants; pausing in silence before answering the litany of requests; sipping on herbal tea instead of the corporate brew. These are just ideas and may translate differently in your own lives. Begin to ask yourselves, though, “What are some ways I can practice self-care in my own environment? Where can I be intentional about establishing some solace in the midst of chaos?”

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Strength Through Support For Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-10-24T07:16:00.003-06:00

We had a full group on Tuesday evening—several of our regular attendees, a returning member, and some new faces, too. I continue to stand in awe of this group process as it unfolds; whether folks have been in one another’s lives for some time or just meeting, there is a commonality that binds every person at the table together. It is true what they say—there is strength in numbers. It can be easy to forget that when we go about the day-to-day, bombarded with to-do’s and shoulds and deadlines and likely encountering a lot of others who just don’t quite get what it means to struggle with an eating disorder. It may feel like crazy-making, for sure!

Which is why support groups like this one are invaluable. Hearing the stories and affirmations and the “I can relate” is what normalizes our struggles—reminds us we are not alone. Indeed, we are not crazy. In fact, we’re not all that different from just about every other person we come into contact with—because we all have our stuff. How we allow that to unfold in our individual lives, though, is unique and may look different from those around us.

One member spoke of her experience out of inpatient treatment—how she feels like she left the ICU, only to enter a playground. How doing recovery out in the real world is such an alien feeling…and how strong those ED voices have been since she entered outpatient. The group echoed encouragement that she is not alone but on the right track…and should not feel that extra, unnecessary pressure of trying to “do recovery perfectly.” There was more talk on Tuesday night about how transitions in our lives can produce a lot of anxiety and reacquaint us with ED behaviors, after perhaps experiencing a considerable reprieve from behaviors. One member, though, found the strength to “halt” in the middle of a particularly painful day and then found herself on the other side, breathing deeply again after feeling like she wasn’t going to make it through. The more practice we get—sitting through those hard places and learning to reach out to others in the midst—the more resilience, I believe, we find in ourselves. It may call to mind thoughts of “Oh yeah, I did this last time; I made it through. I can do it again.” One returning member talked about the freedom she had been experiencing with food since leaving treatment and how her mind has truly shifted—viewing food as nutrients her body needs in order to function and how it’s even an enjoyable process!

Dr. Dorie shared with us some wisdom “from the trenches,” so to speak. She likened the ED thoughts to a minefield. Walking through, scared, those thoughts lie, ready to blow us up. We all know how destructive those thoughts can be; the damage they can do ranges anywhere from extreme injury to ultimate destruction. In lieu of only avoiding or sidestepping them, she said, why not imagine yourselves digging them up, one by one, at the root—destroying that ticking time bomb entirely. Rather than live in fear, coexisting with and trying to avoid those little balls of destruction waiting to go off—get rid of it, altogether. Total recovery and freedom from this disorder is possible.

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

The Hope of Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-10-16T10:15:00.001-06:00

Isn’t it cool when it works? We’ve talked over and over in group about how recovery is difficult, a process, full of ups and downs and twists and turns, an Olympic feat. But on Tuesday night, the theme I heard echoed through the group is that members are not only working hard at recovery, but they’re reaping some its more pleasant benefits. Experiencing some of that calm and peace that everyone tells you will come eventually. I remember that while doing some of the messy work of my own recovery, I used the word “when” pretty often. When will it come?When does it end? How much longer is it going to feel like this? I longed to be through all the muck and just on the other side, finally. On Tuesday night, some of the voices I heard around the table seem to be coming from the other side.

One member said that she had really been working on loving herself this past week and had quite an epiphany in the process—that it’s certainly a lot more pleasant and fun than the alternative! She seems to have found, too, that doing recovery and having compassion for herself is infectious; it’s attracting others to her. Group members echoed, too, how inspired they were by her movement towards and into health—inspired to continue moving forward in their own recovery, through their own hurdles.

Another member spoke of finally feeling a sense of calm instead of hopelessness. Her eyes are being opened to what may lie at the root of her past self-destructive behaviors—a hunger for love and connection. Seeing it for what it is seems to have brought her a renewed sense of energy, and the lies seem to be dissipating. “I’ve been waitingfor you to get here,” was an encouragement I heard from her fellow group member.

There was more talk on Tuesday night about truly loving ourselves, truly hearing and accepting compliments from others, truly believing in our inner goodness and wisdom. There just seems to be something to that “love yourself”thing that we talk so much about.Witnessing this kind of recovery-in-action is thrilling, really. It’s roll-in-the-dirt, scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs fantastic.

My hope, though, is that each of you feels encouraged and supported—regardless of where you are at right now in your recovery. Whether you’re walking in more of those flecks of light and truth and freedom these days, or if your footsteps feel more labored—murky…just continue walking. Continue putting one step in front of the other. Keep moving towards recovery…or the hope of recovery….or at least the hope of the hope of recovery. And let us know how we can support you along the way.

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Letting Go of ED... and More

2010-10-10T22:10:00.002-06:00

A note from Dr. Dorie: A very dear friend of mine has recently learned that her Mother only has about a month to live. What is my friend thinking and feeling at the loss of her parent? How do we let go of someone we love? Is it somewhat like letting go of our eating disorder? Do we love it... not want it to die... yet know we must let go? Below is the recent update about our Tuesday night group, also on the theme of letting go. I hope it inspires you to attend and participate. Or, to just stay connected with us.

Thank you to all our group members who were in attendance last night; and, to those who were unable to attend, I hope these updates bring you a sense of connection and encouragement.

We seem to be seeing in group a theme of needing to take our own advice. Isn’t that so often the case? It just tends to be easier to find the positive and feel the hope for others than it is for ourselves. A number of individuals last night echoed to one another that they see them on the other side—of the ED, of the unhealthy relationship, of the self-destruction. The words, “I am here for you” and “we support you” were echoed throughout the group to struggling members. Many could relate to that ever-present struggle of trying to accept our “set-point weight.” The word “courage” came up more than once.

A number of common threads ran throughout last evening’s discussion. The theme of control was echoed in several members’ check-ins. The need to find control in some area of life, or even the need to have somesort of self-sabotage or addiction. Even those things are forms of control. Whether that be the eating disorder itself, a relationship, exercise, or another form of behavior, it can be difficult to break the attachment. To loosen our grip, though, is to relinquish that control; here, then, comes the letting go.

Letting go of the need to be a certain weight; letting go of a person; letting go of an addiction we allowed ourselves to be defined by. Letting go is terrifying! Who are we, after all, if we’re not the eating disorder or the behavior or the relationship? Sometimes that possibility can be too scary or anxiety-provoking, in and of itself. But, indeed—who are you? Allow your heart to dream of the possibilities. Who are you when you allow yourself to be defined by something other than that thing you have grown so accustomed to? One group member, in fact, said all too profoundly that she has discovered the missing link—to love herself. How might your day look, then, if you exercised love and compassion for yourself instead of negative self-talk? What kind of an impact might that kind of grace have on your decisions? With whom you interact? The ways you spend your time? Food for thought...

Written by Stefanie Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

Holding Onto HOPE Of Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-10-01T16:45:00.006-06:00

A small and intimate group again this week. One member spoke of the journey she is currently on, traveling back through various forms of abuse she has experienced throughout her life. In order to move through this and onto the next, she is having to go through the painful process of sorting through those seasons. Her goal is recovery and healing, but in order to do so, she first must give “language” to the past. While this is a necessary thing, she—like most of us—is all too aware of how agonizing that process can be. Another member struggles with relationship issues, having a hard time moving past that hole she feels in her heart. We continue to remind her, though, that she is not truly stuck; she continues to choose to face the pain without ED behaviors. As we let relationships go, we all shared how we can fixate on the good times and forget all of the really unhealthy things. Letting go of relationships which aren't working, including letting go of ED, can be very challenging. The two are oddly parallel: both entail grieving; both entail choosing not to listen to accusatory voices; both entail a letting go…The promise on the other side, though, is so very worth it! Another group member shared how she is feeling rather hopeless, and reacquainted with ED behaviors. She echoed that feeling of “stuckness,” worn down by the routine of “work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep.” She is longing for connection, yet longing for someone on the outside to reach out to her. This is one of those times where we can feel discouraged, but this is when we need others to hang onto that hope for us. We can allow others to “borrow it,” and it will be given back when we’re ready. Another group member relayed some challenges with “binge-drinking,” which can be a "trade-off" for ED behaviors, but also very damaging. For her, there is a feeling of discomfort, which can trigger ED or drinking behaviors. The group talked about “sitting through” that uncomfortable feeling….waiting out the time and not purging….distracting….calling others in that moment, instead of engaging in behaviors. We talked, too, about “experimenting” with this idea—“I deserve not to self-destruct today.” What might that look like? Would your day change? Would the space around you reflect what you really are—worthy and valuable? Perhaps, it’s an experiment worth engaging…

The journey through the pain is hard work, is it not? I heard much of this echoed throughout our group. On the one hand, we have a choice—either to continue through life, above the surface, allow the hurtful pieces of our past to be ignored or stay buried beneath coping mechanisms, behaviors, and the like. (The eating disorder comes in handy here.) Or, we can choose to open up those pieces of our stories that we may rather not. Revisit the dark places. Go there. Let go of the familiar It’s scary—terrifying, really. And not a fun process. But, I believe that something greater beckons us from the other side—hope. The hope of a fuller life and one that promises more freedom, authenticity, and empowerment. This is the journey we’re all on. And I am honored to be in a room with so many courageous women who have taken up the challenge.

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

What Eating Disorder Recovery Is Really About

2010-09-22T20:26:00.002-06:00

We had a small and intimate support group meeting last night; but with three folks present, we still managed to fill up the time! Members shared their week’s successes and challenges openly and honestly. One admitted that she has had a particularly painful week with too much transition and too much of “one thing after another.” That coupled with too much loneliness has led her back into behaviors. Where the eating disorder, though, would like to try and convince her to stay in that place of solitude—doing the familiar when life seems so strangely difficult and unfamiliar—she has chosen instead to reach out to her therapist—and to this group—and communicate what is going on. Another group member shared that she is beginning to own the past and acknowledge some severely grave injustices done to her. As she walks towards healing, she is bravely opening herself up to those dark places from the past which have stayed hidden. As the emotion begins to come up, though, she has been struggling more with old ED thoughts. Our last member shared her very raw sadness with the group, both mourning the loss of a relationship and beginning to feel anger as a part of that process. Even in these most difficult of emotions, though, she has remained behavior-free. (We have decided as a group that recovering from an eating disorder stands alone as its own “Olympic event.” Nothing about recovery is auto-pilot; it is intentional, challenging, heartbreaking, inspiring, joyful, exhausting, depleting, a grieving process, a re-learning of life, a re-learning of self…to name a few. It is medal-worthy, to say the least.)

Recovery is a process…Speaking up and letting others in is a brave step towards recovery and silencing the ED. The ED wants you to stay silent—complacent. Recovery is about living out loud—choosing health by using your voice to let others in. The ED wants to keep you in the dark, feeling the weight of that universal loneliness so many of us struggle with. Recovery beckons you to live in the light, allowing others in to share your story and witness when you’ve taken a step or two back. Much was echoed in our group about loneliness and how that can be one of the most painful feelings we ever have to experience. I would like to put a question out to all our group members about loneliness—What are some ways to choose health, even when you’re experiencing those deep-seated pangs of loneliness? Where have you found comfort—in ways that don’t feed the ED—in the lonelier times?

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator

When Eating Disorder Recovery Gets Real

2010-09-18T09:43:00.005-06:00

This blog post was written by our newest volunteer facilitator, Stefani Adair. Stefani is completing her Master's degree in Counseling at the Denver Seminary. Watch for posts each week about our group's theme. If you can't attend our group, we hope you can feel a part of it my following this blog. Thanks, Stefani, for your help with our group!
- Dr. Dorie

We had a full house at our EDF support group this week, the format relatively consistent with that of previous weeks. As group attendees shared their recent successes and challenges, a running theme surfaced—the courage to be real. With extra time following member check-ins, Dr. Dorie asked the group to volunteer examples where they have been real—authentic—in their recent daily life. One shared that she chose to respond honestly to her doctor: In lieu of accepting a prescription she knew would be abused, she admitted that this kind of easy access to medication would not be a good idea for her. And, this same group member offered that she would like consistent accountability with another member. Another individual disclosed that she was able to answer her fiancé sincerely when asked, “What does your eating disorder look like?” This same member, in fact, has made the courageous decision to enter treatment next week after a 17-year battle with bulimia. Another participant spoke of her sincere desire to be real with others in her life. “What if I die,” she asked, “and nobody ever got to know the real me?” One member spoke of the courage it took to use her voice, admitting aloud a negative opinion. When her typical mode of operation may have been to stay silent and agreeable, she chose to speak in the face of fear. Another bravely shared her tears with the rest of the group, acknowledging that she has felt this same depth of sadness for the past six weeks. Instead of returning to the eating disorder, though, she has chosen to sit with her feelings—behavior-free.

The eating disorder often serves as a numbing agent to those painful emotions. Allowing ourselves to feel the feelings, then, is so very counter-intuitive to the ED’s function. Each member at last evening’s group (and this goes to those who were not able to be with us last night, also) is an extraordinary example of courage and inspiration. Members continue to disclose their stories, allowing others to witness their pain, tears, joy, and fear. This is “getting real,” in the truest sense of the word.

- Written by Stefani Adair

Three Words To Motivate Your Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-07-10T08:57:00.000-06:00

We haven't had a topic lately, because we have spent the entire group time on check-ins and feedback for group members. The group has grown over the past several months, and strong connections are forming between group members. This past week, we did have some extra time – so Magalie suggested a topic. The directive was to choose three words that define recovery for you, which help you to stay focused and motivated. Some of the words that people shared include: ~ FAITH ~ PERSEVERANCE ~ LIFE ~ TRUST ~ HONESTY ~ HAPPINESS ~ HEALTH ~ CONNECTION ~ HOPE ~ FREEDOM ~ COMPASSION ~ RENEWAL ~ PEACE ~

What are your three words???

Eating Disorder Recovery Songs

2010-04-05T06:27:00.002-06:00

At one of our recent groups, Josee shared a music CD that she made with the theme of recovery. Consider making your own iTunes playlist or burn a CD with songs that inspire you in recovery from your eating disorder. One of the songs that Josee included was "Life Uncommon" by Jewel. Here are a few lines from that song:

Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that which you want to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And you shall lead a life uncommon

A Letter To Your Eating Disorder

2010-03-14T18:00:00.001-06:00

At our group this past week, Courtney brought the topic. She shared a "Goodbye Letter" that she wrote to her eating disorder (ED). Use Courtney's letter as a model, and write your own "Goodbye Letter" with a trust in your process!

A Letter to ED

You are a gnawing hunger, never fulfilled, for it is not you I desire, it is a sense of self-love and belonging, acceptance of my inner self. I find it far easier to control what goes in and out of my body, manipulating weight and hunger in a attempt to numb my emotions, rather than feel the pain of loss and longing, tears left unshed, resentment, anger and coming above all -- fear. I use you to fill that void and these inexplicable burning desires within my very soul.

You taunt and tease me as hunger anxiety grows to unbearable proportions. I must fill my empty body, leaving me feeling unclean, filthy, disgusted and full of utter self hatred as I have given over my sense of willpower and control to you, ED. I am compelled to exorcise your demons. Purge your ugly presence from my body. You are very deceitful as this temporarily gives back to me some sense of control, but it is you, not I , who has had control over me. You have been the leader in a never ending vicious cycle of hunger and anxiety. A circle of death.

I am tired of the effort it takes to hide you from others. Tired of the secrets and dishonesty fueled by the shame and embarrassment I feel with you in my life. Isolating myself further from the rest of the world, family, friends and potential friendships. I feel weak and worthless, slave body and soul to you. You are not my friend at all but the epitome of the devil himself, slowly leading me down a path to ultimate self destruction, physical deterioration of my body, emotional and intellectual dysfunction. You take away my self and all I desire to be, leaving me with nothing but guilt, shame, embarrassment and self hatred.

I have written this letter to you so that I may begin to regain my true sense of self and lessen your hold on me.

Goodbye to hiding behind secrets.

Goodbye to never enough or always to little.

Goodbye to a false sense of control.

Goodbye to guilt and shame.

Goodbye to self hatred.

Goodbye to self inflicted physical and emotional abuse.

Goodbye to emergency room visits, doctors and hospitalizations.

-- written by Coutrney

For Eating Disorder Recovery, Describe Your Emotion

2010-02-14T12:33:00.001-07:00

A big part of eating disorder recovery is knowing what you are feeling. Clearly identifying your emotions can help you to know what you need – instead of an eating disordered behavior. Amanda brought a worksheet to help describe emotions in a variety of ways. Here are the suggestions:

Name the emotion
Draw a picture of your emotion
Describe a related action
Describe a related sound
Describe the intensity of the emotion
Describe the quality of the emotion
Describe thoughts related to the emotion

P.S. - You may be interested to attend a workshop about "Intuitive Self-Care" on Saturday, February 20. It will feature intuitive eating training, strategies to overcome emotional eating, techniques to develop a healthy body image, and much more. LEARN MORE...

Art Therapy For Eating Disorder Recovery

2010-02-07T13:07:00.002-07:00

Art therapy is a form of creative expression that can be very effective to reveal insights that are not accessible through words. Magalie brought this week's topic, an art therapy assignment (developed by Jennifer at the Eating Disorder Center of Denver), and suggested that the group members try this as a "homework" assignment. You may use any media to complete the assignment (drawings, paintings, collages work well). Use the following questions to create an answer in the form of a metaphor or image. Some people choose to answer all the questions, and others focus on one or two, it is your choice.

What should the group know about you?
What was happening in your life when the eating disorder began?
How did you come to our group, and was it your choice?
What types of relationships do you have in your life now?
What role does the eating disorder play in your life and relationships with others?

If you choose to do this assignment, please feel free to bring your project to a future meeting to share with the group!

What Is Normal Eating?

2010-01-30T12:56:00.001-07:00

As you are in recovery from your eating disorder, you may be wondering, what is normal eating? Valerie brought a handout (written by Ellyn Satter) to give us a few ideas. The bullet points summarize a few concepts. Normal eating is...

going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied
choosing food you like – not stopping because you think you should
eating sometimes because you are happy, sad, bored, or it just feels good
overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable
eating three times a day, or four or five, or choosing to munch along the way
trusting your body to make up for your "mistakes" in eating
flexible, varying in response to your hunger, schedule, and your feelings

Find your own way of "normal eating" by trusting your body this week!

Nourishment: Physical vs. Emotional

2010-01-23T12:39:00.000-07:00

Metaphors and stories can provide an abstract perspective to understand eating disorders and the recovery process. In her book "Eating In The Light Of The Moon," Anita Johnston shares numerous stories to guide us in recovery. Morghan shared a chapter entitled, "Nourishment: Physical versus Emotional." The tale is about a magic pear tree, and the discussion which the author offers emphasizes the need to recognize the difference between the body's need for food and other "foods" for the heart and soul. She notes, "Appreciating the way foods act as metaphors for our deepest longings and concerns can move a woman far along the path of recovery. As she pays attention to her cravings and the images they evoke, she can bring unconscious feelings and desires into the open. She can gain a better understanding of what the real issues are that she struggles with, an understanding she might not have obtained if she had continued to deny herself those foods." What are you really hungry for?

Increase Awareness Of Emotions At Meal Times

2010-01-17T14:08:00.000-07:00

Emotional eating (or restricting) is a significant factor in eating disorders. The recovery process involves increasing awareness of emotions before, during and after eating. Amanda shared a worksheet that she uses with her therapist to track her emotions at meal times. You can make your own worksheet, by listing your meals (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack dinner, snack) in a vertical column and the days of the week in a horizontal row. Then, just before each meal, check in with your feelings and write down what you notice in the appropriate grid. Wait an hour, and list your feelings again. You might also add a check-in with your feelings while you are eating. Try this over the next week and see how this awareness can help you with your recovery!

P.S. – Save the date THURSDAY, MARCH 11 – our group will take a "field trip" that evening to see the new "Alice In Wonderland" movie in IMAX-3D! Stay tuned for more details!

New Year's Reflection

2009-12-31T21:01:00.001-07:00

We had our final group meeting of the year, and the decade! Out with the old, in with the new. But to suddenly wake up in 2010 without an eating disorder is unlikely. Recovery is a process. You can learn from this past year, to help you in the year ahead. Attached is a pdf file for a worksheet that we used at this past week's group. Use this to reflect upon your past year, and to set intentions for the year ahead. I hope that one of your intentions in to join us for our next group, 01/05/10 at 6:30pm!

New Year's Reflections Worksheet

Eating Disorders Support During The Holidays

2009-12-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

Holiday Greetings!

As I write this post, I am visiting my family in Tucson. It's a small gathering, with my parents, my two brothers, and my two nieces. At this point in my recovery, I am able to "witness" the dynamics of my family without being triggered with any eating disorder behavior. Yes, there are still comments about my eating patterns, but they don't impact me like they used to. "Are you really going to eat all that?" remarked my Mom as I had lunch today. I remained intuitive with my meal, and enjoyed it, despite her comment. Yes, there is "food everywhere," and I'm sure I don't need to go into any details, but you can imagine. But seeing the food doesn't mean I have to have some every time I walk by the vast array of items. I have some if that's what I really want, without guilt or deprivation. One of the really nice things about my visit this year is that I am developing deeper connections with my family, which I was unable to do when my eating disorder was my primary focus. It feels good to be at this place in my recovery, and I hope this gives you some hope that you can live as if you've never had an eating disorder, too. Take whatever steps you can to stay on your "Positive Pathways" of recovery!

Our next support group will meet Tuesday, December 22 from 6:30-8pm at the Eating Disorder Foundation in Denver. Please join us for support to overcome anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder! Feel free to call me at 303.494.1975 for more info about this group.

Binge Eating Disorders Denver

2009-12-03T16:54:00.002-07:00

I wanted to let you know if you would like more information about eating disorders treatment and a little more about me-please feel free to go to my Binge Eating Disorders Denver profile at LinkedIn. I welcome you to join my network if you would like. Thanks, Dr. Dorie

Eating Disorders, Perfection And Support

2009-12-02T15:33:00.001-07:00

Guess what! I'm not perfect! When I started this blog a year ago, I had hoped to make posts once a week. Obviously, that didn't happen! My previous attempts to be perfect always fueled my symptoms of anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder. And, the more I engaged in my eating disorder behaviors, the more I resolved to try once again to be perfect. It was a classic Catch-22. The only way out was to embrace imperfection! I don't deliberately try to be imperfect, but I smile a little when I am. So, I'm smiling now :-)

In recent weeks, the attendance at our support group meetings on Tuesday evenings in Denver has grown. It has been amazing to witness the connection that is unfolding between group members, and the valuable support which is being shared. It truly supports my own recovery to support others. I enjoy writing about the topics we discuss on our group, and I'd like to set an intention to make more frequent posts to this blog (with permission to not be perfect)!

You can get involved by posting comments, and becoming a follower. This way, you can still get support if you can't make a meeting -- or if the group is cancelled (as it was yesterday due to a flood in the building). Even if you don't live in Denver, you can join in our discussions. We're all here to support each other in eating disorder recovery!

Feeling Fat

2009-06-15T09:57:00.001-06:00

H brought our topic this week, and shared a few passages from one of her favorite books, Breaking Free From Emotional Eating, by Geneen Roth. The section in the book was entitled, "Courting, Befriending and Forgiving Yourself."

The start of this section wasn't all that loving. Geneen described wanting to cut the fat off her body, leaving herself bloody-to-the-bone. Sadly, almost everyone in our group had similar thoughts at some point. This is how much we have hated our bodies. But this self-hate is disempowering. We cannot be the magnificent women we truly are when we drain our personal power by disliking our bodies and ourselves.

Geneen then shared a loving solution. She suggested putting your hands on a body part that you dislike, and touching it and talking to it with love. I have tried this, and it was tremendously healing. I encourage you to try it, too -- make sure that you have lots of kleenex on hand! Our bodies have endured so much, and have so much to offer us, so what if they are not perfect, we have alot to be grateful for...

Food For Thought

2009-05-05T09:14:00.001-06:00

T brought the topic this week, introducing us to one of her favorite books, Awakening The Buddha Within. She shared a passage with us, as "food for thought"...

"It is often tempting to use our thoughts to make ourselves feel okay about what we are going to do anyway, rationalizing all sorts of crookedness through self-justification. We drink the extra drink, then drive home, telling ourselves that it really doesn't matter this time, and that we won't do it again. We cut corners in deals or cheat on taxes and rationalize away any guilty feelings. I've certainly made excuses to myself in order to do things I want to do and be where I want to be. Haven't you? Haven't you dredged up seemingly sensible or nobel sounding reasons for questionable behavior? Haven't you told yourself it really doesn't matter, when you know very well that it does? We all have. Let's not fool ourselves. How can we learn instead to approach the world with pure intentions and an open honest awareness? We will all be alot happier and less care worn if and when we can do so." -- Lama Surya Das

I can't count the number of times that I would restrict, binge or purge, making up some excuse to justify my actions, but knowing deep down that I was not being true to myself. This seemed to create a downward spiral, where I would justify more ED behaviors, to deal with the pain of not being true to myself. The only way out of this "Catch-22" was to do as Lama Surya Das suggests: live with pure intentions and honest awareness. This was a key to my recovery. Food for thought for you...

Desperately Seeking Self

2009-04-02T12:43:00.000-06:00

V brought our topic this past week, and shared a few excerpts from Viola Fodor's book, Desperately Seeking Self. This is an "inner guide book" for people with eating and weight issues. We all took turns and read a few passages. Here are a few highlights:

"Use your problem with food as a teacher or signal directing you to those areas of your life that require immediate attention."
"Listen to your body's signals of hunger and satiation so that you can begin to respect your nutritional needs."
"Develop respect and trust for your inner voice, allowing it to guide you to a greater well-being and life purpose."

Understanding Anorexia

2009-03-24T07:10:00.000-06:00

Do your friends and family know how to support you in your recovery? Do you think that they understand anorexia and other eating disorders? Do they know what truly helps you, and what doesn't? It can be challenging for friends and family to know how to be supportive because they don't know what it's like to have an eating disorder. They haven't walked in your shoes. But one supportive husband tried, at least for a few days. J brought an article entitled, "Anorexia Nearly Killed My Wife" (Glamour magazine, January 2008). The article told the story of Meg's anorexia and recovery, and her husband Tom's perspective and process of support. In an effort to understand anorexia, and why it was so hard for Meg to overcome it, Tom tried to "simulate anorexia," by deliberately cutting calories in addition to daily workouts. The first two days were a struggle. But by day three, he found himself thinking that when he refused food, he had a sense of victory. This helped Tom to understand the "seduction of the words in her head, how they could override the most basic human survival instincts." Tom's experience helped him to be more patient, understanding and supportive during Meg's recovery. A word of caution: Tom's starvation experience is actually what happens to many dieters. It is estimated that 33% of dieters become obsessed with weight loss, and 10% end up like Meg, with a severe eating disorder. While Tom's efforts were noble, let's be clear: to understand anorexia, you don't have to starve yourself. Just ask lots of questions, read lots of books, and be grateful that you will never really understand.

Intuitive Eating

2009-02-17T15:05:00.000-07:00

H brought the topic for the evening, and shared a few passages from one of Geneen Roth's books. When Geneen ate chocolate chip cookies for fifteen days in a row, not many people would consider that "intuitive eating." But for the first time in her life she gave herself permission to eat exactly what she wanted, and only what she wanted. I shared that during my own recovery, I had peanut butter crunch blizzards every day for at least two weeks. Like Geneen, I woke up one day and actually wanted vegetables - not because I should eat vegetables, not because vegetables are healthy, but because I truly wanted to eat vegetables! This is actually the first step on the path of intuitive eating - breaking free of your cravings for binge foods.

Eating Disorders And The Media

2009-01-22T11:53:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of Karen Carpenter? She was an amazing singer, in the group The Carpenters, who died in her 30's because of an eating disorder. In 1983, the year of her death, eating disorders made the headlines. Finally, eating disorders were pulled out from the shadows, and as a result, treatment was promoted and lives were saved.

Since then, most publications about eating disorders tend to promote them rather than their treatment. Numerous articles and websites offer advice about how to become ultra-thin, with photos for "thinspiration." Even articles that are intended to promote recovery can do the opposite, because too many details about eating disordered behaviors are revealed.

What is being done to address this? B brought an article for our topic this week, from BBC News. It discussed how the French National Assembly is addressing this issue, with a bill to prosecute and fine publications and websites that promote eating disorders.

What can you do to address this? If you find an article, book or website that promotes eating disorders, write to the editor or website host with your feedback. If the website host is not listed on the website, you can go to http://www.whois.com and type in the name of the website to find out the hosting information.

Or, you can take action by consciously choosing to look away from pro-eating disorder stuff. Look instead to something that promotes eating disorder recovery ... like this blog :-)

Medical Consequences of Eating Disorders

2008-12-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

During our check-ins at this week's group, M said that she was anxious about a doctor's appointment she had the next day. The discussion progressed to the medical consequences of eating disorders. Most people are aware of the risks, but somehow feel invincible. However, the members of our group went into great detail about the permanent damage that has been caused as a result of their eating disorder:

Mitral valve prolapse (a heart condition which may result in cardiac arrest)

Irritable bowel syndrome and chronic diahhrea (must always wear a depends diaper)

Gasrtoesophogeal reflux disease (GERD - which may lead to esophogeal cancer)

Teeth erosion and gum decay (which may cost $20K+ to repair)

Infertility (missing periods might seem great, until you realize you can't conceive)

So, we all hope M's appointment with her doctor goes well. She is young, so maybe she can avoid some of these negative consequences of eating disorders. But remember... none of us are invincible...

Letters to ED and FRED

2008-11-10T07:54:00.001-07:00

At one of our recent meetings, T introduced us to FRED -- FReedom from Eating Disorder. At last night's group, she suggested that we all write a letter to ED and FRED. First, we wrote our letter to ED -- telling that Eating Disorder voice exactly what we think and feel, and perhaps being ready to say goodbye. Then, we wrote our letter to FRED -- welcoming this FReedom voice in whatever capacity. The process of writing these letters is very emotional. Depending upon where you are in your recovery, you can feel anger, sadness, grief, loss, relief and even gratitude. During my recovery, I wrote more letters to ED than I can count. But each one took me one step close to finally saying goodbye to ED. Until last night, I had never written a letter to FRED. I wish I had, because I don't want think FRED to think he's unappreciated. Without FRED, I probably wouldn't be alive. Thank you, FRED, even though at first I didn't like you. Do you have any more friends? I welcome more positive changes in my life :-)

Dump ED... Meet FRED!

2008-10-03T15:30:00.000-06:00

Many of you may have heard of the "eating disorder voice" referred to as ED. This is the "voice" that might tell you to skip a meal, exercise extra hard, binge, and/or purge. You might also identify with a "healthy voice," one that helps you to eat and exercise in moderation. In last night's support group, T shared that she calls this "healthy voice" FRED -- FReedom from Eating Disorder! Our group now meets from 6:30-8:00pm on Tuesday evenings, but I invite anyone to come early at 6:00pm to have dinner with myself and FRED. Obviously, eating regular meals is a part of recovery, as is being able to eat with others. So, I thought it might be helpful to offer this pre-group opportunity!

Anorexia Athletica. Drunkorexia. Diabulimia.

2008-09-17T11:47:00.000-06:00

The headlines of this entry are not official medical terms, but are used to describe troubeling phenomenon in addiction and eating disorders. J shared three articles that she found on the internet, which discussed these issues. Anorexia Athletica refers to the fine line that many competitive athletes walk, when they step up their workouts and step down their eating to gain a "competitive edge." However, this concept of "running on empty" actually compromises the ability to perform, and uses competitive training as a mask for an eating disorder. Drunkorexia refers to someone "starving themselves, cocktail in hand." Although calories from food may be "forbidden," in part this is to offset calories in alcohol consumed. Of course this is a dangerous behavior, because there is no nutritional value in alcohol, the body becomes depleted of essential nutrients as the alcohol is metabolized, and chronic drinking can be a sign of alcoholism. Finally, Diabulimia refers to people who are diabetic, but who skip their insulin shots in efforts to lose weight. However, this results in the loss of many nutrients in the urine plus dehydration, and many end up blind and in organ failure, all risking life to be thin. At what price, thinness?

Welcome To Our Eating Disorder Support Group!

2008-08-27T15:26:00.004-06:00

Our FREE Eating Disorder Support Group meets in Denver, Colorado every Tuesday evening from 6:30 -8pm, at The Eating Disorder Foundation, located at 3003 E. Third Ave., which is the corner of Third and Milwaukee in the Cherry Creek North area. There is free parking behind the building, which you can access from Milwaukee Street. We meet in the basement conference room. The group is open to anyone in recovery from anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder.

Future posts on this blog will feature highlights of the topics that we discuss at our group. Feel free to post comments, and become involved as a follower of this blog. You can get support for eating disorder recovery no matter where you live!